Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Real life in motherhood!


Originally I had planned to keep some of these more intimate moments private. Then I realized mothers need to support each other with more than just staged 'look at me photos'. Today was tough. I got at best 3 hours of sleep last night. My family is dealing with a major issue and it stressed me out way too much. I shouldn't have tried to take it on. Next time I won't. 
Right now is our time, Duncan's time, and I'm ill prepared to help anyone but us.
Labouring at home. 
Not seen: Gas heater behind me pumping out the jams.
Nitrous oxide, high.
This position was optimal for me once I progressed to dilating to 7. 
It was SO HARD not to push and I needed to keep my damn legs closed.

This song below came on our playlist during labour around dilation of 7 just at the right time for me. I sang along with it, and reminded myself what I'm doing and who it's for. The pain would be worth it, because I'd have both of my boys.
"Tell Him"

Yo heh heh tell him it's like uhh you know uhh
Sweet sweet tell him

Let me be patient let me be kind
Make me unselfish without being blind
Though I may suffer I'll envy it not
And endure what comes
Cause he's all that I got and
Tell him...

Tell him I need him (yeah)
Tell him I love him (tell him)
And it'll be alright
[Background singing] Tell him be alright be alright
Tell him tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
It'll be alright

Now I may have faith to make mountains fall
But if I lack love then I am nothin' at all
I can give away everything I possess
But left without love then I have no happiness
I know I'm imperfect (I know I'm imperfect)
And not without sin (and not without sin)
But now that I'm older all childish things end
And tell him...

Tell him I need him (yeah)
Tell him I love him (tell him)
And it'll be alright
[Background singing] Tell him be alright be alright
Tell him tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
It'll be alright

[Bridge]
I'll never be jealous
And I won't be too proud
Cause love is not boastful
Oooh and love is not loud
Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
Everything's gonna be alright [w/ ad libs]
Oooh oooh yeah yeah aww yeah

Now I may have wisdom and knowledge on Earth
But if I speak wrong then what is it worth?
See what we now know is nothing compared
To the love that was shown when our lives were spared
And tell him...

Tell him I need him (yeah)
Tell him I love him (tell him)
And it'll be alright
[Background singing] Tell him be alright be alright
Tell him tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
It'll be alright
This was after our first incredible feed, nipple shield free and at home in our comfy room. Yesterday or maybe the day before, the calm before the storm.
Today, I'm incredibly proud of my postpartum body. It carried my boy. Nourished him and showed me his movements and milestones along the way.
Granny panties are a legit part of postpartum life. I dig em'. Super comfy and holds up my pouch with a bit of extra support. Best n less for the win!
 Real life. Baby fed, baby clean, baby stressed...Mummy half naked, boobs out, eating cause she just fed and pumped and burped and absojgjekkejfhhlj....
Note: The slow cooker in the backround. Two frozen meals dropped in saved our lives for this evenings dinner. 
After a big cry (from Mummy) I think my baby blues were delayed until I took on entirely more than I could handle. After my cry I laid next to my boy on the floor and got 40 incredible minutes of sleep. He got a bit more than me :)
Then Daddy came home from the shop and I whipped out my boobies. They got some vitamin D and so did I. My boobies and I sat outside for a good 30 minutes. I rubbed some milk on my cracked nips and came in feeling much better for it.

We've had another feed. I have relaxed myself with the help of my husband and son. We're hopefully ready to take on tonight's obstacles. Rest assured I'll be waking Mr. F for a bit more help, as I'll be plenty drained to sleep.

Wish us luck! Daddy made homemade apple, blueberry pie and caved and bought Mummy some overly sugary ice cream to pair with it! Yummo!

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